The real Dark Magician
by Yamatano
Summary: Parody of "The real Slim Shady" Rated for language


The real Dark Magician 

Parody of "The real Slim Shady" 

May I have your attention please? 

May I have your attention please? 

Will the real Dark Magician please stand up? 

I repeat, will the real Dark Magician please stand up? 

Looks like we're gonna have a real problem here 

Ya'll act like you've never seen a magic person before 

Jaws all on the floor, like Tristan, like Mai just burst through the door 

And started whoopin' Kaiba's ass worse than before 

he first was defeated, throwin' him over the stadium (Ahh) 

It's the return of the, .."Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding, 

he didn't just say what I think he did, did he 

And Pegasus said....Nothing you idiots 

Pegasus's dead, he locked in my graveyard pile (Ha ha) 

(Chigga, Chigga, Chigga) 

"Dark Magician, I'm sick of him

Look at him, wielding his staff around, and killing Labyrinth tanks." 

Toon Gemini Elf: "Yeah, but he's so cute." 

Yeah, I probably got some screws in my head loose 

But no worse, than what's going on in that maze 

Sometimes, I wanna get in that duel and hang loose

But it's cool for Axe Raider to kill an undead moose 

"My sword is jabbed through your skull, My sword is jabbed through your skull.' 

And if I'm lucky, we just might get some star chips 

And this is the message we deliver to Gate Guardian 

And expect them not to know how to defeat a Toon 

Of course, Pegasus is gonna know what cards Yugi holds 

By the time he loses 

Yugi loses all his star chips, doesn't he? 

"We ain't nothin' but mammals..." Well, some of us are cannibals 

Who cut other monsters open like Cocoons of Evolution 

But if we all can kill undead mooses and Antelopes 

Then there's no reason why a Summoned Skull and a Red Eyes can't merge 

But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote 

Duelists, wave your cards in the air and sing the chorus as it goes 

Dark Magician!

Dark Magician! 

I'm Dark Magician, the real magician

The rest of you duel monsters are just imitating 

So won't the real Dark Magician please stand up? 

Please stand up, please stand up? 

Bandit Keith doesn't hafta cheat and steal in every duel he plays 

Well, I do. So fuck him and fuck you too, Pegasus 

Do you think I give a damn about a spell book? 

Half of you Kuribous can't stomach me, so let alone stand me 

"But Dark Magician, if you got one, wouldn't it be weird?" 

Why? So you could just lie to get me here? 

So you can stab me with a fire spear? 

Shit, Joey Wheeler better change cards 

so I can attack that Flame Swordsman and Garoozis 

And hear them argue about who was his favorite card 

You little asshole, put me on the blast on Konami 

"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Dark Magician girl, hee-hee!" 

I should download her audio on MP3 

and show the whole world how you gave Dark Magician VD 

I'm sick of you all you little Harpy lady and Gaia the fierce knight groups, all you do is annoy me 

so I've been sent here by Yugi to destroy you

And there's a million of us just like me 

You attack like me; who just kill SwordStalker like me 

who dress like me; talk, walk and act like me. 

and just might be the next best thing, but not quite me 

Dark Magician 

Dark Magician

I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only giving you 

Things you joke about with your friends inside the dueling room 

The only difference is I got the balls to say it 

In front of y'all, I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all 

I just get on the mic and spit it 

and whenever you like to admit (ERR) I just shit it 

Better than ninety percent of you duel monsters out can 

Then you wonder how Kaiba rips up that blue eyes white dragon like toilet paper 

It's funny; Cause the rate I'm going when I'm thirty 

I'll be the only one in that Duel monsters deck flirting 

Pinchin' Mystical Elf's ass when I'm jackin' off with The magician of faith 

And I'm jerkin' and this whole bag of viagra isn't workin' 

And every single person is a Dark Magician lurkin' 

He could be workin' at Kaiba corp, blowing up Kaiba's machines 

(HACH) Or in the parking lot circlin' 

Screamin' "I don't give a fuck" 

with a Curse of Dragon flyin' the spells shooting up 

So, will the real Dark Magician please stand up 

And put one of those fingers on each hand 

And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control 

and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go? 

Dark Magician

Dark Magician 

Dark Magician: Ha ha. Guess there's a dark magician inside all of us 

Fuck it, let's all stand up 

********************** 


End file.
